What do we see when we have students who get upset, anxious or seem ‘overly sensitive’?
Often it’s just that 10% if the iceberg where the behaviour is seen rather than all the attributes that have caused the student to react in this way. These attributes of being super observant, empathetic and caring mean they soak in everything from their surroundings. Words, noises, actions, looks, body language. All day, everyday, feeling and seeing things differently takes its toll on these students. If we don’t understand what’s going on often their outburst or action can seem out of place or something that’s come ‘out of the blue.’
Our reactions to these outbursts can mean our relationships with these students can be strengthened or they may be broken beyond repair. They see our annoyance, underlying anger, frustration (even if it's an unintentional look or off hand comment.). The ‘Why are you doing this? The ‘ What’s wrong with you?’ Then they start to feel like there really is something wrong with themselves. “I’m a bad person, I’m weird, No one likes me.” The negative self talk can overwhelm a student who already sees and feels too much.
So how can we help them cope? Firstly, by helping them to understand that there is nothing wrong with feeling the way they do. It’s just that they need to learn the best way to process those feelings and observations.They may read into situations and overthink what a person is dong or saying. Talking about feelings and normalising them can really help too. Other students, friends, teachers and parents have times when they might feel or react in the same way. It may be that they have learned strategies to minimise these reactions and then process them differently.
Finding a common language to describe emotions and how they feel so students can give words to describe what's going on rather than them emerging as actions or as others view them ‘overreactions' can be really positive. Starting to recognise when they feel their emotions are getting away from them and processing them differently is important. Or having the confidence to seek help or to remove themselves from a situation.
It is vital to make sure that we treat students positively so that other students will accept that sometimes they need space, quiet or time to do something that centres them again. One of the biggest ways for students to be accepted by their classmates is for their teachers to treat them like a super star. Just as we do for all our other students! Then the perceived ‘negative’ reactions become more readily accepted and tolerated by their peers. They can start to develop a sense of empathy and understanding. With this we can further develop a culture of caring.
Helping these students find their tribe within your learning space will have a positive effect on everyone. Students, teachers and family.
